my favorite gadget - Mary Beth

Mary Beth's Ninja

When Dwell asked me to write about our favorite gadget, I had to write about my NINJA. I don’t usually write infomercials, but I love this gadget, so I will give it a whirl.

The Ninja is a blender/food processor of sorts. It has a larger unit for making drinks of all kinds. I use it daily for fresh fruit smoothies, and it also works well for shakes and malts. It crushes ice if you want to make snow cones or other iced drinks. The smaller unit (it comes with three small bowls) is wonderful for chopping veggies, hard cheeses, and even meat. It is really handy because you can combine all of the ingredients at once. For example, if you want to make guacamole, you can add your onion, avocado, and spices all in the same container, pulse the ingredients (push on top two times) and you have a very smooth dip.

One of my favorite features is the clean-up. It is dishwasher safe; however, I wash mine by hand. Unlike most blenders where the motor is on the base, the Ninja’s motor unit sits on top of the pitcher. I like this because there have been many times in using a regular blender when the food spilled into the motor base, and that makes for a messy clean-up. The main unit consists of the pitcher, the blade shaft, and the lid. The motor unit is used for both the tall pitcher and small bowls.

I purchased my Ninja at Sam’s Club for $39.99. I have seen it in a variety of stores that sell kitchen appliances. My kids pointed out to me that there is now a new Ninja that has more options than the one I have, but it is a lot more in price (over $100). For what we use it for, the original Ninja works great!

If you are in the need of a blender like this I would highly recommend it. Christmas is coming. Could be a fun gift for you!  Do you have a Ninja?  Leave a comment about your experience!

- Mary Beth (not a paid endorser of the Ninja) 

Rusty and I just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary this year!  Woohoo!   We have been blessed with two incredible kids.  Kristian just celebrated his eighteenth birthday and Emma will be fifteen soon. We just started our seventh year of homeschooling.  My main interest (as like most moms) is my family.  God has blessed me with the opportunity to be an at-home mom (a blessing I don’t take lightly).  Rusty commutes to Kentucky and tries to make it home every other weekend (he was laid off from his job in Des Moines, IA three years ago).  Although it is not the best situation, we are thankful. My favorite pastime is anything we can do together as a family. I also love to scrapbook and make cards when time allows.

relationship with God - Chrissy

"How to make for your personal relationship with God" -This title almost makes me laugh. Why, because up until a few months ago, I was a frustrated Christian, walking around trying to figure this out. And now here I am, being asked to write an article about it. Ironic. So, I want everyone to know starting out that what I am about to tell you, after twenty years of following Jesus, is a new concept even to me, and something the Holy Spirit continues to teach me on a daily basis. But it has set me so free and made me fall so in love with this God who loved me first that no one can convince me otherwise.

The question "how do I make time for my personal relationship with God?" alone is a valid one and, to a reasonable person's mind, makes sense to have a logical answer. Let me ask you this: If it did, why are so many people asking the question in the first place? Not just homemakers, but I believe the majority of the body of Christ is walking around asking themselves that question. If the answer is being preached, why do Christians continually find themselves struggling to read their Bibles enough, pray enough, have their devotionals enough? Because that is what the average Christian would say to a brother or sister struggling, right? Well, you just need to try harder, get up earlier, go to bed later, spend this amount, do it this way, etc..

Here is my radical statement that might make some people mad or, like in my case, set them free: When did we reduce the Gospel to a devotional? When did we limit the freedom the Holy Spirit has in our lives to a short fifteen minutes. We read the Bible half asleep before we hear our kids yelling for us that they have to go potty in the morning. Did the believers in the book of Acts struggle with spending enough time with God in the midst of all the other things they had to do? No, because, here is the thing that has revolutionalized my whole life and walk with Him: He WAS their life. When did the Body of Christ start compartmentalizing their lives to where He is a part of them, but not life itself? It’s like it has become our job description. "Sure I'm a Christian, wife, mother, ect".

In Acts 17:28a, Paul says, "For in him we live and move and have our being."(NIV)

I'm pretty sure when people asked Paul to describe himself he didn't say, "I'm a Christian and a tentmaker and a…" No, CHRIST WAS HIS LIFE.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:15, "And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." (NIV)

We no longer live this life for ourselves, because when Christ came and died for us, He died for everything contrary to His nature. God replaced our fallen nature, the one that brought forth sin, and replaced it with that of His very Son. What He did on the cross was restore us back to our original value, that of a son of the Living God, just as if we never sinned in the Garden. What did Adam and Eve's relationship with the Father look like? They knew Him, first of all, understood that things in their everyday lives came from Him, that He gave it to them. When they sinned in Genesis, chapter three, it says that the Lord was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from Him. I believe He came and walked with them and talked with them often, even in the midst of the things He gave them to do, to tend.

Oh, how I so want you all to get this if you have not already. Get up every day and acknowledge Him, live unto Him, realizing that you are wearing the very righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. You are a daughter of the living God. You’re His beloved. How do you make time? You don't. There is no method, no formula. Just walk with Him, talk with Him, sing and worship Him, get to know Him. He is so with you, in you, waiting for you to acknowledge Him so He can whisper His love to you in your ear as you do the dishes and change a baby's diaper. He is waiting to steal your heart so completely that when you sweep your floor, you don't even realize it before it’s done because you’re so wrapped up in His presence with you. And just like you have times of deeper intimacy with your husband, there will be times when you go to a secret place with the Most High and have just “you-and-Him” time. It’s so freeing. Be free! Just get to know your King. Do everything unto Him. Live this life not for yourselves but for Him. Acknowledge Him all of the time. You'll be amazed at how fast you get to know Him, because He is a Person, not a title that you tack on to a description of yourself. He wants a relationship with you, and He saw so much value in you that He paid the highest price.

- Chrissy

Chrissy has been married to her husband Kevin for seven years and they are blessed with one special little boy named Linkon.  They live in Colorado Springs, CO where Chrissy stays at home with her son during the day and works at night.  Chrissy feels called to minister to her family as a wife and mom, and then to others in regards to intimacy with Jesus through worship and teaching the Word.  She enjoys taking care of her home, cooking, music, hanging out with friends and family, going to coffee shops, and shopping. 

respecting my husband - Heather

What does it mean to respect? Some synonyms for respect are appreciate, esteem, and regard. Those are easily comprehended. On the contrary, the antonyms for respect are quite an eye-opener. Antonyms for respect: disappointment, condemnation, scorn, contempt, hate, distrust, and repulsion are just a few for us to think about!

Many marriages today have no idea what it means for a wife to respect her husband. Even in Christian marriages, it is very common for the wife to try to rule over her husband. This should be no surprise, since the Bible teaches of the results of being a respectful or disrespectful wife. Proverbs 12:4 explains,

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (KJV)

We have a very clear picture from this one verse of what we can be to our husbands: a crown or a rottenness.

I want to be a crown to my husband. To be a crown to him, I believe, is to respect and honor him! There are many ways to show our respect to our husbands. One way to show our respect is to appreciate their assistance or the way they do things, even if it is not how we would have done things.

I can remember a time I had folded a ton of laundry, and my thoughtful husband grabbed a pile to carry upstairs to the boys’ rooms. I bit my tongue when a critical thought came to my mind. I was ready to question him as to why he wouldn’t have used a laundry basket to carry clothes upstairs, since that would obviously be the much easier and quicker way…at least in my opinion. But, really, does it matter HOW the clothes get upstairs? Or does it matter how certain tasks are carried out? Is it more important for me to regard and appreciate my husband’s actions OR question him on how he accomplishes a task? To critique him on such a thing would be AS if he hadn’t done a good enough job in my eyes. Either way, he’ll remember my response! Did I thank him? Or did I criticize him? If we criticize, we’ll end up doing a lot more ourselves. We need to be gracious and esteem our men, and they’ll help us and love us the more for it! I was so glad I learned to bite my tongue and not think things had to be done MY way…

In our marriage, the more I respect my husband, the more he seems to love me and try to find out what I would prefer. Ephesians 5:22 and 25 reveal a great example of how a husband and wife ought to treat each other. Verse 22 teaches us, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” And verse 25, I believe, is the benefit for us respecting our men, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…”

Granted, life isn’t perfect, nor are we or our spouses. There will be times that we may not feel like respecting our husbands or think they deserve it. It is important to remember what the above verse says we are to respect/submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. We aren’t to only respect our husbands if they have been especially loving or deserving of our respect. Respecting is a heart choice. We can respect as unto the Lord. We will be blessed for it! (Ephesians 5:33 - our husbands will love us as themselves as we reverence them).

³³Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)

Just as the Lord has mercy on us, so ought we to show our husbands mercy. God’s grace and mercy will enable us to break the liberal world’s pattern of disrespect! May we put a smile on our lips (a smile is very attractive to our guys) and strive to do good to our husbands!

¹¹The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. ¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12 (KJV)

- Heather

Dan and I have been married fifteen years and have three fantastic boys! Daniel, is thirteen, and we have twin eight-year-old boys, Silas and Samuel. We homeschool and enjoy the learning process as a family. We have done various ministry works, and my husband's current occupation is construction. I enjoy hiking, running, and being outdoors. We've had dairy goats for a year, gardened many times, and are currently enjoying mountain hiking in Wyoming and Montana. Right now we live between Iowa and Wyoming!








Linking up to Raising Homemakers.

homeschooling, our reason - Dwell

I have been on a personal journey to figure out what will work best for our family in the area of school.  My oldest is five, and I feel pressure to wrap my mind around the idea of homeschooling.  You may remember that I don't do well in a grocery store without a list - it is hard for me to jump in and "wing it."  This generally requires many conversations with people, reading a bunch of books, much thought and prayer.  Once I understand a matter, walking it out seems pretty easy. This is the process I have been engaged in this summer.

Initially, I saw homeschooling as a way to protect my babies - I was amazed at the protective feelings that rose up the moment I held my newborn.  Suddenly no one and nothing is perfect enough for this fragile life. The desire to protect this child was/is strong and possibly a bit extreme. I still want to protect my children, but ultimately, I must trust that God will be their protector as they walk through life - I won't always be there to shield them.

The word that keeps coming to mind is "influence." David and I desire to maintain influence in our children's lives.  There are so many things in the world that try to "influence" my children, and most are not godly. As parents, we want to be more than just a filter, trying to control the influences coming into the lives of our children; we want to be the main influence.  Deuteronomy 11 gives a pretty strong charge to parents about what we are to teach our children and the way we should carry it out.  Teaching our children about God, His love, and how to walk in His ways is not taken lightly.     

    ¹⁸Therefore you shall lay up these My words in your [minds and] hearts and in your [entire] being, and bind them for a sign upon your hands and as forehead bands between your eyes.
    ¹⁹And you shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.
    ²⁰And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates,
    ²¹That your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth.
    ²²For if you diligently keep all this commandment which I command you to do, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, and to cleave to Him  - Deuteronomy 11:18-22 (Amplified)

With "influence" in mind, I don't see how I can release my children into someone else's care for extended periods of time and still fulfill my responsibility.  My time of influence would be greatly diminished, and teachers and their peers would step into my place.  Sure, we could still influence them, but we would lose precious time.  I would get the "leftovers" of the day.  I am not confident that they ready for the immoral influences of the world.  The following passage was written to adults, who in my estimation, are less susceptible to peer pressure than children.

Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. - 1 Corinthians 15:33 (Amplified)

Here begins our journey with homeschooling.  It begins with the desire to obey our interpretation of Scripture and the leading in our hearts.  I want to lead my children down the road of education, and constantly, consistently, and always bring them closer to God.

I also want to include that I have many friends that have chosen to put their children in school - I respect their decision and believe that God gave us the right to choose what's best for our families.  My encouragement to others, in all areas of life, would be to really think about what you are doing and why.  There are many cultural norms that we blindly follow. I would rather be informed and intentional, even if it means going against the norm.

How about you?  What influenced your decision regarding your child's/children's education?  Leave a comment and share your thoughts on this important subject!

- Dwell

Dwell has been married to David for eight years.  They have four children (ages nine months - five years).  She works part-time from home for Andrew Wommack Ministries while taking care of her children.   She is passionate about natural birth, parenting, and improving her homemaking skills and gets excited about organizing and saving money. They both enjoy hospitality - hosting Bible studies and having people over on a regular basis.  Dwell loves the Lord and desires to serve Him with her life. 

Read a variety perspectives on homeschool and public school. 

Linking up to Raising Homemakers.

relationship with God - Autumn

Right now, I am learning to receive some grace in my relationship with God!

Before I was married, I went to Bible college and felt like I studied the Word night and day! I would study at college four hours a day, go to Bible studies, and pray in the Spirit nonstop it seemed. It was an amazing experience, and the growth I needed then happened very quickly. But part of the growth that took place in me in that time was to get me to the point of maturing enough to get married and accept the love from my husband, raise children, and do the works God’s called me to do.

So many times since starting this family, the family I KNOW God has called me to be a part of, I felt guilt and remorse for not being “in the Word” as much as I was when I was single. “Why aren’t I reading as much as I did before? Why aren’t I babbling in tongues as much as I used to? I need to do this, that, and this again,” and I would try to implement new programs and standards for myself. I would get up a little earlier, read my three chapters in my Bible, go about the day, and feel like I did “good.” (And the funny thing is, I can remember promptings from the Lord about reading something again, but I brushed it aside as “Oh, but I’ve already read today!”) And as always, somehow after a few days, I would fall off the wagon and then feel like I was “bad,” and that guilt would spill over into troubles with my husband and others. Then I realized that this plan wasn’t working well, and maybe I shouldn’t push myself so hard to “spend time with God,” and appreciate the stage of life that I live in now!

I found solace in Deuteronomy 6:7: “You shall teach [the scriptures] diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Now, I realize that verse can seem a bit intimidating, but if you look at the gist of it, the Lord just wants you to incorporate the Word into your regular daily lives, and not just forget Him after a fifteen-minute “quiet time” at 5 a.m.! He knows you have stuff to do - remember He was a human as well!

God wants me to take care of my husband and children. But if I were to go back to the routine I had in my single days of spending hours in the Word and praying in tongues constantly that would be neglecting my family! And so, to me, according to Deut. 6:7, I saw that I can meditate on Scripture when I get up, in my “journey” in the car, when I am cooking dinner, when I am playing with my son, Isaac. For instance, one day as I was making my son scrambled eggs for breakfast, I told him the story of how Jesus said “If you ask me for an egg, I won’t give you a scorpion, neither will the Lord, who only gives us good gifts and the Holy Spirit when we ask him!” (Luke 11:11-13 paraphrased) It’s that easy to meditate on the Word, thinking about the love of God for him and me, and he gets blessed ‘cause I could do that and give him something to eat!

I found out when I let go of my “5 a.m.-quiet-time-Bible-reading-prayer-request” standard, then I free myself up more to want to read the Word, pray in the Spirit, and just praise the Lord MORE during the day than I ever did before! Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not slipping around in greasy grace. The Word of God is the foundation for my life. Anything good that happens is from Him, and I can find anything I need in His Word. It is a super-serious thing, but when I loosened up a bit - from it being something I have to do or I’m going to be an emotional wreck and I’m going to die, to something that I am free to do whenever I want - I found that I actually enjoy reading the Bible, and have read more lately than I did before!

When I saw the topic for this series a few weeks ago, the only message I felt the Lord wanted to convey is for everyone to give themselves some grace and just enjoy this busy stage of life as wives and mothers. Those kids aren’t going to be around forever, and it won’t be long before you and your husband will be gray-headed and have plenty more time on your hands! He just simply loves you, and wants you to richly enjoy (Tim. 6:17) everything He gives you. It’s by grace that you were saved, and it’s by grace that you should continue to walk your life! The more you think about that, the more you will regard Him throughout your whole day, for your whole life, and not just some extra errand you have to squeeze into your day!

-Autumn

Autumn has been married to Jeff for over two years, whom she met at Charis “Bridal” College (Charis Bible College). She primarily wrote today’s article in order to minister to herself, as it was “one of those days,” but hopes it blesses you too! She has a one-year-old named Isaac, who is currently napping and makes her happy. 




Read a variety of perspectives on "Relationship with God" from other godly women. 

We are participating in the Homemaking Link-up at Raising Homemakers.  

homeschool veteran - Jan

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I am excited to share the results of a written interview with Jan who homeschooled her two daughters. She has experience with both homeschool, umbrella schools, and public schools. 

Dwell:		What ages/grades did you homeschool? And which did you do public?
Jan:		I home taught our oldest daughter from the ages of five – seventeen, (Kindergarten through twelfth grade). I home taught our youngest daughter from the ages of four to fifteen and then again at age seventeen (Kindergarten through ninth grade and twelfth grade). She attended a public charter school for tenth and eleventh grades.
Dwell:		What led you to homeschool some years and do public school other years?
Jan:		We believe each child is unique, and as parents we have the privilege and responsibility to train them in the way they should go. We sought the Lord as to the direction our children were to go regarding their education. As our children matured and we watched their relationship with the Lord grow, along with their ability to hear His voice, we would listen to them share their thoughts, desires, and beliefs about the details and direction of their schooling. Our oldest daughter never had a desire to attend a public or private school; however, she did take classes at a local umbrella school. Our youngest daughter desired to attend a public school once her sister went to college. She has a very evangelistic heart, but we felt she was not ready to enroll until tenth grade.
Dwell:		Are there ages that you think are better for learning at home / learning in public school?
Jan:		I do not think there is one answer that works for everyone. My personal thoughts, however, would be that pre-school through Junior High would be best for learning at home, and if enrolling into a public or private school, High School would be best. I believe learning at home is best when children are most impressionable. During these formative years, they can receive such a rich variety of education while benefiting from the influence of different age groups of family and friends. I think public/private school would be better saved for High School because by the ages of ninth –tenth grade, their levels of character growth and development, educational development, and spiritual maturity will most likely establish them in strength to be an influencer and do well.
Dwell:		How do your children's personalities factor into this decision?
Jan:		Our children’s personalities are definitely one of the factors in making the decision above, along with us as parents being in unity, hearing from the Lord. Our oldest daughter’s personality is peaceful, analytical, and dedicated to learning and accomplishing. Some of the things that were, and continue to be most important to her, are having access to and studying a variety of things, including piano. She was fully content and flourishing learning at home and, through the umbrella school, she took many different general and elective courses. The variety of courses offered at home and through the umbrella school were a blessing to her, since she loves to learn. She was also able to prepare, study, and advance much more with her piano skills and service at our local church. Our youngest daughter’s personality is joyful, creative, and explorative. Some of the things that are most important to her are being around friends (especially those who are creative, passionate, and musical), and exploring different types of places and meeting new people. She enjoyed schooling at home as long as there was enough time to imagine, create, and explore. She also benefited from taking classes at a local umbrella school, but for different reasons than our oldest daughter. I think the strongest benefit for attending there was her being able to take dance, acting, and being around bunches of people, which fit with her creative personality.

Jan has been married to Wayne for twenty-four years. They have two beautiful and gifted daughters, ages twenty-two and nineteen. For twenty years, together with her husband, she has served in many capacities of ministry; including Praise and Worship leadership, hosting conferences for women, and establishing Kingdom Heart Ministries. She has recorded four worship CDs designed to help people know God intimately. She and her husband have opened their home extensively for the past ten years and have parented many "sons" and "daughters". She loves spending time alone with the Lord, going on dates with her husband, sharing quality time with her daughters, finding unique coffee shops, interior decorating, and collecting dishes. Jan is purposeful and de- dicated to fulfill all that God has called her to.

respecting my husband - Tori

Image: Piyaphon / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I watched older women a lot before and after I was married to see how they treated their husbands. I also watched Andrew Wommack's teaching on marriage (I think they are putting it out again - it just has really poor video quality). Then looked it up in the Word, where Paul talks about it in Colossians 3:17-18.

¹⁷And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him.
    ¹⁸Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. (Amplified)

 After doing all that, I decided I would always honor my husband. In doing that, it meant controlling my mouth. I would not complain about him to anybody else. I would try to only speak positive things about him to other people. I know when other women complained to me about their husbands, it made me look at their husbands in a bad light, and it wasn't my place to judge them. When wives would complain, I would lose my respect for their husbands.

When there is something that bothers me about my husband, I try to be very careful about how I approach it. I try to come to him humbly and ask him if he considered such and such. If that doesn't work, or sometimes before I even go to him I pray and ask God to reveal it to him. That usually takes care of it, so then if he doesn't want to change, he has to deal with the Holy Spirit and not me! If he won't change for the Holy Spirit, he certainly won't for me.

The flip side of this is that my husband found out my trick and uses it on me when I need to change. Whether things are going great in our marriage or not so good, I have learned that God is my source for whatever I need - whether it is help around the house, with the kids, or any other area, if I look to God, He shows up as my helper, and I can walk in peace no matter what.

-Tori

Mike and I have been married for fourteen years. We have four lovely children ranging in ages from three months to eight years old. I enjoy being outside with my family, cooking and teaching children. We are a homeschool family that enjoys learning in different ways. I have a desire to be a help and encouragement to moms that are coming after me in this wonderful journey of motherhood that God has planned for women.

time with God - Annie

I am in a busy, challenging season of life: mothering four kids who are all six years and younger. Spending time with the Lord in prayer, reading His Word, and planning my days is absolutely essential for me because I need His wisdom and strength during this very important time. My favorite Christian author, Anne Ortlund, states in her book Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman that “The quality of your life will be determined by the amount of time you spend alone with God in reading, praying, and planning.” (pg. 54) I fully agree!

Before I had children, I strove to have this “quiet time” with the Lord daily before I went to work, and on the days that I failed to get up early enough, I would fit it in before I went to bed. But since children began to arrive six years ago, finding this daily time has proven to be a difficult task. Babies are not like alarm clocks; I can’t set them to wake up at a certain time each day. And alone time in the evening before bed is no longer a guarantee either. Sometimes children don’t go to sleep when expected, and sometimes I am just too tired! Honestly, there have been many nights that go like this - “Dear Lord, zzzzzzzzz.”

We are constantly in transition in our home. Here are some things that work for me during all of the changes:

• I strive to read my Bible and pray before the first child gets up in the morning. I aim to do fifteen minutes of both of these disciplines. This is ideal for me. 
• Realistically, sometimes the recycling truck wakes kids up early, or the baby gets a cold and doesn’t sleep well, etc., and this first-thing-in-the-morning routine doesn’t happen. We require all of our kids to have an hour of quiet time in their rooms each afternoon, so sometimes I read, pray, and plan during this time. 
• Also, when a new baby is born, both the early morning habit and rest time quiet times just aren’t possible. During those first few months, I go into “survival mode.” I hope to read a few verses each day, and I pray when I am up nursing the baby in the night. When my last baby was born, I used the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It is a daily devotional that takes about five minutes to read, and it includes three topical verses for each day.

-Annie

Annie has been married to Shane for nine years. They have four children ages nine months to six years.  She is a stay-at-home mom and homeschools her two older kids.  Annie loves the Lord, and is passionate about teaching his word to her children.  She enjoys biking with Shane, spending time with friends, cooking, and couponing! She needs major encouragement in (hates) the areas of bathroom cleaning and gardening.

Read a variety of perspectives on "Relationship with God" from other godly women.

respecting my husband (part 2) - Cheryl

Image: seksuwat / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Click to Read Part 1 of Cheryl's article

I’ve learned that my marriage is more than a religious, covenant relationship. It is a spiritual, sacred, wonderful, frustrating, energizing, maddening, caring, sexual, patience-producing, daring life I share with the man I love. I have learned more about "living by faith" in my own home than anywhere else on earth. And, just like every other truth of God, we must walk it out by faith, and then the reality of it comes forth.

I’m glad we don’t have to be “religious” or “all that” with God. He knows what we’re feeling anyway. He knows when we are trying something for the first time. So, He answered my simple prayer of frustration. At first, He guided me to start respecting my husband by faith. The world says that a man must “earn” respect. I thought that, too, but God simply says, “Respect your husband.” He didn’t say… “if he’s earned it.”

I knew that God had designed this sacred relationship with order and beauty, as He designed all things. I had to uncover this truth in my own life.

After a short while of walking this out by faith, God started showing me things about my husband that I hadn’t really thought of before, like how hardworking he was, how he could fix things so easily, and how good he was with people. Funny, with all the baggage I was carrying, I hadn’t noticed those attributes before. He still did things differently than I would have and he parented differently than I did, but that was okay. I had let go of being his judge.

God was answering my prayer. And, again, while I was praying for my husband, God was benefiting me - sometimes behind my back, it seemed like. He is so good that way. It’s because He wanted me to seek Him and not take Him for granted.
I began to reap what I had sown. My husband started treating me better. We enjoyed being together more. There was less strife. All because of His truth and, I’m not bragging here, my obedience to that truth. I was learning that, like love, respect was more than a feeling; it was an action, a faith statement, an enabling, and it had a power all its own.

Eventually, because I’ve always liked to observe people, I began to watch other women as they interacted with their husbands. God knew I needed an example. I noticed that some church women would talk badly about their husbands, even scorn them. But there were a few women that looked up to their husbands. This gave me even more hope, and it built my faith. Once, my pastor’s wife, openly said she wouldn’t say anything bad about her husband, because she didn’t want him to talk bad about her. I noticed that she treated her husband with respect and set a good example. There were other women, too, that I could emulate. God uses people, living epistles, to express His Word and this helped me.

Ephesians 5:33 in the Amplified Bible says it all. Remember, the Word is edifying and life-breathing.

³³However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. (Amplified)

Allow your husband to be your covering, your shield from this world, and your anchor in tumultuous times. God created him to be your head and to “have your back.” This will free you if you allow it to. Read that last sentence again. As a woman, you are strong, yes, but not as strong as you may think you are. God has given you a covering in your husband. Don’t waste your time carrying this “headship” that was never yours to begin with. Ask God to show you how. He did it for me, and He will do it for you! He is faithful!

- Cheryl

Cheryl is a daughter of God, wife, and mother to four grown children, and grandmother of two precious grandbabies. She currently lives near Branson, MO and works in her home as an antiques dealer. She has served God in children's ministry and drama ministry for over twenty years and written hundreds of skits, stories and drama productions. Her latest focus has been prayer and Facebook. Prayer to keep her in touch with God and Facebook to keep her in touch with her kids.

respecting my husband (part 1) - Cheryl

Image: luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I became a new Christian at the tender age of 27, I was so excited about my new-found relationship with my Abba Daddy God. My life was changing, by baby steps, and I was happy. But things were not going as well in my marriage. My husband and I had both brought ungodly patterns into our young relationship. I did only what I knew to do, and that was to pray for my husband.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but while I was praying for my husband, God was benefiting me. He sent His laborers to us, who pointed us in the direction of a new church in town. This became the church where my husband would eventually give his life to the Lord and where we would grow, minister, receive, and where we would raise our children.

I was absorbing God’s anointed Word every day like a hungry newborn babe. I’ve always been an avid reader, and so I’d read whole books (at least the short ones) in the New Testament in one sitting. And, like a newborn babe, I’m sure I didn’t digest it all, much less walk in it.

One day in my reading, I hit what could have been a stumbling block. I certainly was having trouble digesting this one. It was Ephesians 5:33 - “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself [sounded good to me] and let the wife see that she respects her husband [what???].”

Wow. This must be the ‘meat’ of the Word that Pastor was talking about, I thought to myself. I don’t think I can do this, God!

Now, I had read the whole fifth chapter of Ephesians and I was okay. I could walk in love, have no fellowship with darkness, be not drunk with wine, and (even) submit to my husband as to the Lord. I understood that God had put me in a covenant relationship with my husband, and He had made him the head of the home, not me. I was learning to walk in that new revelation. But respect him? That seemed like such a huge leap for me. I had to let that sink in. I stopped reading.

“Father, you’re going to have to show me how to do this because... I DON’T KNOW HOW!” I prayed out my frustration to Him.

Almost thirty years later, I can only say that God is faithful. He gave me the grace I needed to walk out His truths when I was a young woman in my twenties, and He continues daily to be faithful to me as a wife and grandmother in my wonderful fifties. Read more about this process in Part 2 of this article.

- Cheryl

Cheryl is a daughter of God, wife, and mother to four grown children, and grandmother of two precious grandbabies. She currently lives near Branson, MO and works in her home as an antiques dealer. She has served God in children's ministry and drama ministry for over twenty years and written hundreds of skits, stories and drama productions. Her latest focus has been prayer and Facebook. Prayer to keep her in touch with God and Facebook to keep her in touch with her kids.

meal planning - Elise

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Getting dinner on the table at a consistent time can be a major hurdle for most families, especially one that is nutritious! But it’s such a blessing to our families to have dinner under control and ready in a timely manner. I have found that meal planning has been a key part of success in this area. For me, meal planning has been one of those tasks that I don't really enjoy all that much, but I do enjoy the confidence and peace that comes as a result of doing it.

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have experimented with various types of meal planning. Prior to that, my husband generally got home from work before me, so meal preparation was on him! But once I started staying home, I had to cook the meals. Cooking dinner became a stressful event. It finally dawned on me that if I put some effort into meal planning, I could reduce the stress of wondering what to cook for dinner, and if I had the ingredients for it.

I had friends that made meals ahead of time and froze them. But that approach seemed like a lot of work on the front end and did not appeal to me. After some experimenting, I ended up planning meals on a monthly basis. I repeat several dishes in the month and have at least one night a week designated for left-overs. I am able to compile a master list of ingredients needed and I stock up. I still do periodic store runs for fresh produce, milk, etc., but it definitely gives me peace of mind knowing I have the basic ingredients in place for a whole month. I also like the flexibility of this plan: If I do not feel like cooking whatever I have scheduled, I can swap it out with a different recipe within the month. I schedule leftover nights on days I know I will be busy or getting home late. I mostly choose meals that are pretty simple and that can be prepared on the stove top. In fact, I often adapt recipes that call for baking the meat, and instead I cut the meat into small pieces to cook on the stove top. This shortens the preparation time considerably.

Here is what my monthly meal sheet looks like.  I keep blank copies on hand for
each new month. I save the old months and refer back to them for ideas. 

I generally strive to have dinner ready around 5:30 p.m. My husband does not have consistent hours, but my children are still young and do much better with consistent meal times. Since I'm home most days, I usually start preparing dinner around 4:30. If I'm having a good day with the kids, I will find something they can help with during the preparation time to get them involved. Some days, it works better for me to have some books on tape from the library ready for them to listen to while I'm preparing dinner. My last resort with the kids is to let them watch a video while making dinner. I try not to let them watch any videos earlier in the day, in case I need one during meal-prep time. If hubby is late, I keep food warm on the stovetop.

The only day that works a little differently for us is Sunday. We usually have friends over for a big meal after church, and so I use the Crockpot a lot. It's wonderful to come home after church smelling a juicy roast that has been slow cooking all morning! With planning ahead, it's usually pretty easy to pull the side dishes together quickly. We go to a small group Sunday evening, so we generally just have a big meal in the middle of that day and then something light after we return.

These are the things that have worked for me: Planning has made all the difference. When I've gotten lax with it, things tend not to run as smoothly in the home. I have learned not to underestimate the value that a delicious, home-cooked meal brings to my family, especially my husband!

- Elise

Hi! I'm Elise and I've been married to Steve since 2003. We currently live in Eastern Tennessee and have two children, Matthew and Grace, ages five and three. After many years working in the accounting profession, I'm enjoying being a stay-at-home wife and mother. I'm also passionate about discipleship and worshiping the Lord through music and song. When not busy with all those things I enjoy, reading a good book, exercising, and napping :)

going public (part 2) - Roxanne

Click to Read Part 1 of Roxanne's article.

Why public?
It fit the needs of our family and our child. What about his moral development? That was our dilemma. Being in the public school system as children and teachers, we were all too knowledgeable of what could happen. But we had seen the same things happening to kids in the private and homeschooling sector—just delayed until after they left their parents’ houses. And so the discussion began…

My husband thought he would rather have our children deal with those kinds of struggles while they were still in our house so we could help them process and respond appropriately to them. But my mothering heart screamed, “But not if they aren’t ready!” While I could see the wisdom in what he was saying, I didn’t want those struggles to rob my children of their childhood. I didn’t want to “throw them to the wolves” without making sure they had the weapons necessary to survive. And the discussion continued…

We finally agreed to wait. In our waiting, we continued our normal routines and trainings hoping for some spotlight to show us the way. And one day, it came. It was the day I allowed my son the freedom to fail. He was out playing and suddenly came bursting into the house. “MOM!” he shouted. And for the first time, I was able to see what my son was really made of. “Can I have a popsicle?” he asked. You see, every kid in the neighborhood was outside sitting on the lawn, and eating popsicles. Instead of going with the crowd, my son came to ask first! As simple as it seems, it showed me that he was prepared to begin using the lessons we had worked on instilling in his heart.

Now What?
Deciding to go public can be a daunting task for Christian parents. I know it has been for us. When we chose to go public, we wanted to know our school. We wanted to know the teachers and staff. We wanted to know what was happening in the classroom. But mostly, we wanted to know how our son was responding to it all. So I decided to get involved.

Find A Good School
Before school started, we moved into a new district. This school district has a great reputation for academics, community involvement and support, and financial stewardship. And I love that the district breaks up into small neighborhood schools. My husband and I are originally from small towns, so our current school fits us perfectly! It belongs to a “desirable” district so it has the money necessary to equip my son, but its small size provides a “hometown” feel and welcomes volunteers. Maybe you don’t have the option that a large district brings, but you can still find a good school for your child. When the School Choice Law went into effect a few years back, it gave parents the right to choose their child’s school regardless of district associations. ( http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2011/08/school-choice-in-america-2011-educational-opportunity-reaches-new-heights )

Volunteer 
As I mentioned earlier, my husband and I wanted to know what was happening at school. But I wanted more than just “Room-Mother” or “Field-Trip-Monitor” status; I wanted to see what my son was learning and how he was responding in the classroom. The only way I could really do that was to be in the classroom. After making arrangements for my other children, I began volunteering in my son’s classroom once a week. I would go in for a few hours and help the teacher with projects, progress testing, drills, or whatever. This way, I was able to see my son in action; i.e., what children he was gravitating toward (and possibly redirect him), see what social situations he was struggling with, and know what character development we still needed to work on. Of course, being in the classroom also helped me reinforce the academic stuff too! Word to the wise: If you are interested in becoming a school volunteer, start the process as early as possible. Process? Yes. You’ll need to sign-up at your school, complete paperwork for the district (including a background check and fingerprint file), and notify your child’s teacher of your availability before you can begin.

In addition to volunteering in the classroom, you can get involved in PTO/PTA groups (which help raise and distribute funds for your school), Accountability groups (that monitor schools’ progress and conformity to national/state laws), and School Boards (which help create bylaws to run entire districts, and aid in the hiring/firing of personnel).

Remember the Basics
Never forget, YOU are your child’s first and most important teacher. It is not the responsibility of the school to educate your child, just like it is not the church’s responsibility to nurture the development of your child’s spiritual walk. God has given you the great gift of being a mom. He trusts you to do the job well, which means He must have equipped you to do it!

-Roxanne

Roxanne, a mother of three, lives with her family in Colorado Springs. She dreams of capturing the hearts of her children to serve God all the days of their lives, create a haven for her family called home, support and encourage her husband to fulfill his God-given goals, and finish the laundry.