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The goal of this site is to give many different perspectives on the topics addressed. What works for me may not work for you, but hopefully you will find encouragement in one of the many perspectives shared. We are striving to share on topics pertaining to marriage, parenting, homemaking and relationship with God.

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October 28, 2011

time for what counts - Mindy

Clock
Image: healingdream
Most days, it seems as if the twenty-four hours I get are simply not enough to accomplish all I think I need to. I have been guilty of squeezing in as much work as I can into those hours. I know many of us are in the same boat. With a to-do list a mile long every day, how do we make time for God? The truth is, we do not make time. God made time. We need to be faithful with the time He has given us. He gave us twenty-four-hour days for a reason.

Recently I got behind on my Bible reading. I was trying to figure out a time where I could sit down for an extended period of time and catch up. My husband’s enlightening advice to me was, “You don’t have to catch up all of it in one day; do it over a week.” I think my mouth dropped open a little. Duh! My brain is always trying to find ways to cram more into the day. That is not right!

This is what I have come to realize. I cannot do it all in a day and that’s okay. I was putting unneeded pressure on myself to get things done that were not really that important. Definitely not more important than spending time with God and my family. There is time for what truly counts. There is! If we don’t have time for those things, then something is wrong, and we need to look at what our time is being consumed with.

I have purposed that instead of striving to get the dusting done or car vacuumed out, (or whatever yoke I put on myself for the day), now I will enjoy God, enjoy my husband, enjoy my son, enjoy the day that God has made for me. The other stuff will get done, and if it doesn’t, so what! Relationships are paramount. Cleaning, organizing, business, etc., are just going to have to play second fiddle. I am not saying to totally neglect those things. That is unwise. But they should not be consuming us. This is a decision I have to make every day, since I am the type of person that is go, go, go at all costs until it’s done.

Let’s purpose together to stop being “worried and troubled about many things,” (Luke 10:41). We need to take off that heavy yoke and put on Jesus’ yoke which is light, (Matt 11:28-30). Let us rest in Him and enjoy whatever season of life we are in because it will change. There is no “season” of housework; it is here to stay. However, whatever the ages our children or grandchildren, it is a season that will soon pass…so we should put that laundry down and go enjoy them!

Does twenty-four hours seem like enough time in the day to you?  Could changing priorities help lift the burden you carry?  Leave a comment if you have a chance, I would love to hear from you!

- Mindy

MindyMindy resides in Colorado with her husband of eleven years and three-year-old son. She graduated from Charis Bible College in 2005. Mindy and her husband are entrepreneurs, trying their hand at various businesses. In 2010 they opened KeWe Workshop, a software development company specifically for mobile devices. You can learn more about KeWe Workshop at www.keweworkshop.com

Read a variety perspectives on relationship with God

October 26, 2011

domestically challenged? - Dwell

Sewing Kit
My (pathetic) sewing kit
Have you ever felt domestically challenged?  I have!  Sometimes it feels like some women are naturally better at being "women" than I am.  I have looked at other women and found myself comparing myself to what appear to be strengths and weaknesses. Have you ever met a domestic superstar?  She cooks, cleans, and sews effortlessly (emphasis on sewing).  See those curtains? She sewed them. The cloth diapers? Yup, she made them.  She even makes clothes for her family!  I may be exaggerating, but it does seem like some women have something I don't (but wish I did).

Tonight I had to pull out my sewing kit to mend a blanket for my son's bed.  It is getting cold, and I have to get another blanket on his bed.  There is a section that needed mending (it has needed mending for a couple of years!). I could have continued to put it off, but the threat of him pulling out the stuffing was worse than the act of sewing. 

Enter the "domestically challenged" feelings.  I don't really know how to sew - my experience is limited to necessity, and my sewing kit came from a grocery store!  While I try to convince myself that I should desire to sew, my efforts to pursue it haven't been successful, and my enthusiasm is short-lived. 

Feelings of inadequacy can paralyze.  Instead of feeling empowered to try something new, there are feelings that some people just naturally "have it" (the ability to be "the perfect woman") and others don't. So, why try?

What if being "the perfect woman" was more about the attitude of the heart and less about domestic skill?  What if being the right woman is simply being a submitted woman - one submitted to God's will and design?  As a "submitted woman," I sincerely desire to take care of my family.  I doubt I will ever make my own curtains or cloth diapers, but I am happy to fix minor tears (in places you can't see my stitching), and possibly learn more as the need appears.

There are many duties that don't come naturally to me, but God has been faithful to help me along the way.  Our confidence in our ability to fulfill God's calling as homemakers isn't supposed to be fulfilled in our flesh (through natural ability) anymore than those who are called to the five-fold ministry.  Our ability needs to come from our dependence on God.
For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.
(Philippians 3:3 King James Version)
 I am also reminded of Titus 2:3-5 - we can be taught by other women.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
(Titus 2:3-5, King James Version)
Women are different - not all good at the same things, and I doubt anyone is good at everything, but God has provided His Holy Spirit and other women to encourage and teach the younger women.  It is the attitude of our hearts that pleases God (and our husbands and children), not how domestic we may naturally be.

- Dwell

Dwell has been married to David for eight years.  They have four children (ages ten months to five years).  She works part time from home for Andrew Wommack Ministries while taking care of her children.   She is passionate about natural childbirth, parenting, and improving her homemaking skills and gets excited about organizing and saving money. They both enjoy hospitality - hosting Bible studies and having people over on a regular basis.  Dwell loves the Lord and desires to serve Him with her life. 

Linking up to Raising Homemakers.

October 24, 2011

glorious, heavenly marriage - Sara

Created to Be His Help Meet
Do you want to have a glorious and heavenly marriage? Do you want to be all that God has called you to be to your husband? Then may I suggest a book, Created to Be His Help Meet, by Debi Pearl. I can guess what you are thinking right about now - that dreadful word that all women dislike: “submit”. But this book is so much more than just submitting to your husband.

This scripture is the basis of the book. We are called to be our husband’s help meet as mentioned in Genesis:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18, King James Version)

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. (Genesis 2:21-22 King James Version)
Let me share an excerpt from Debi’s book to put your minds at ease.
So He isn’t Mr. Right!
“As you have probably already discovered, you don’t just marry “the right man” and live happily ever after. Every man I know is a bona fide sinner. And, considering that you, too, are a selfish, fallen creature, it will take real effort to make a heavenly marriage. A good marriage, just like anything worthwhile, takes doing the right things every day…every hour…every moment.” 
Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl, pg 20    http://www.nogreaterjoy.org
Copyright 2004 by Michael and Debi Pearl

Now that I have reassured you of the intent of this book, let me share with you what I have gleaned. I first read this book last year after a dear friend suggested it to me when I was frustrated in my marriage. I read it and gained some insight from it, but in the back of my mind I was thinking of someone else that really needed to read it (not my husband). I decided to reread it this spring after my husband told me that he was in a bad mood because I was in a bad mood. I am still reading it now.

Boy, I’m glad I did. First of all, I prayed that God would speak to me through this book, and speak to me He did. The first thing that got across to me is that I am not just called to be my husband’s help meet; it is an honor and a privilege. As women, this is our highest calling/purpose in life. I have heard many ministers say the order of our lives is first God, then our husbands if we are married, our children, our jobs, and finally our ministry. I have given my heart to God, and He does have first place in my heart and life. My husband comes next in line. After reading the first few chapters with Debi stepping on my toes because I had let a negative outlook and perspective clutter my thinking, I now look for ways that I can be a better help meet to my husband. I not only pray for him and things concerning him, but I also look for things in our day-to-day lives that will help him out. As I have been doing this, my heart has become full of joy instead of dread - resentment towards my husband because he is not helping me, and just an overall negative perspective. Let me tell you, joy feels better.

I also saw a theme running behind the scenes of her book as well. This may be a theme that God showed me and it may be different for you. My attitude and mood sets the attitude and mood in the rest of the house. Just like my husband said he was in a bad mood because I was in a bad mood and vice versa; it can also spill over into the children’s attitudes, moods, and behavior too. I can either sow love, joy, and peace in my home or strife, bitterness, and resentment. God will honor us. There is even scripture that says that we can win unbelieving husbands over by our actions (1 Peter 3:1). I have also seen God meet my needs when my husband didn’t meet them emotionally or just in understanding me.

We as wives need to look at our actions, attitudes, and behaviors. We can be resentful, hateful, and bitter toward our husbands and end up alone, working two or three jobs to make ends meet, and raising our children alone, or we can do it God’s way, reverencing our husbands and being the help meet we are called to be, and letting God work out the rest. As we are obedient to God, He will see to it that our needs are met. We need to remember that we also have faults, bad habits, etc., that our husbands overlook in us and still love us. Also remember that our children find security in knowing that Mommy and Daddy love each other. They begin to question that security if we are fighting all the time.

You may not feel like being a help meet to your husband. Your first steps may seem forced, but you have to take the first step. God will meet you and help you. The first step may be in the natural, but the next step will be supernatural as God comes along side and helps you.

What I have shared above is only a little bit of the subjects Debi covers in her book. She even shares how to humbly talk with our husbands when we feel they are making a bad decision, and she explains the different types of men there are so we can better understand our husbands and what they want/need in a wife. You can find Debi’s book at NoGreaterJoy.org or on Amazon. Please read it so you can have a glorious marriage God designed and longs for you to have.

- Sara

Sara dn Family
Brad and I have been married for fifteen wonderful years.  We have three beautiful children, Dylan - eight, Caidin - five, and Payton - two.  I work from home as a medical transcriptionist.  I enjoy doing things outside as a family. I love to encourage fellow Christians in their victorious walk with Christ.  We win!!!  God has shown me how much He loves me (us), and I love to encourage others in their prayer life.  It does not matter what big and intelligent words you use when you pray - it is the attitude of your heart.  God loves us so much that all He wants is for us to spend time talking with Him, and we do that through prayer.  My main goal is to become more like Jesus. I also want to see wives become the help meet to their husbands God intended, and enjoy a heavenly marriage. 

October 20, 2011

time with God - Kim

Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Over the years, I have found that my relationship with God has to be nonnegotiable. By nonnegotiable, I mean it is something that happens every single day, just like feeding my family every day, I must feed my Spirit every day. I’m not saying I’m perfect at it, but I have found that it has to be premeditated or life will get in the way. Without preparation, life just happens, and I end up too tired or distracted to spend time with my first love - Jesus.

I like to set aside a specific time in my day that I will read the Word and pray. Usually for me, it is early in the morning, since I tend to be a morning person. I like to get up before my kids and husband are awake and spend that time communing with my Lord. That works for me now that my youngest is over a year and is no longer nursing. While I nursed him, I tried to have my devotion while he nursed because it was unrealistic for me to get up earlier than he did.

As I’m writing this, I am sitting in Israel on a Shabbat (Saturday) afternoon. One thing I greatly admire about the Jewish people is their commitment to God’s Word and His commandment to honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy. For religious Jews, honoring the Sabbath is not negotiable. Except in extreme life-threatening situations, they will not break the Sabbath. They honor it and keep it holy by not working, cooking, cleaning, driving, shopping, watching television, or talking on the telephone. It is a day that is spent worshiping God through prayer, Bible reading, and sermons. They also rest, eat great food, and spend time with family or close friends. One of the most amazing aspects of Shabbat is the recharging that takes place: spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I find that when I seek God daily, I focus more on why God created me than on the unimportant temporary inconveniences that happen every day. When spending time with Him is nonnegotiable, I find that I am better able to stick with my morning routine. When I make a plan to pray and read the Word, the result is that I start my day spending time with my Heavenly Father, communing with Him, recharging my spirit, and strengthening my life.

When is your best time of the day?  Do you feel recharged and strengthened?  Leave a comment and share your experience.

- Kim

Kim and Greg
Kim has been married to Greg for ten years. They have two daughters and a son, ages one to six. She works full time from home and currently has her oldest child in public school; however she has personal homeschool experience, having grown up in a pioneer homeschool family. Kim loves her family, living in the country outside Colorado Springs, traveling, and serving others.



Read a variety perspectives on relationship with God

October 18, 2011

respecting my husband - Amy

Red Rose
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos
Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
Ephesians 5:33, Amplified Bible
 I asked myself, “What is the biggest thing you’ve learned about respecting your husband in the last year?” I have actually learned the most in the last few weeks—we are on the same side! Marriage is not a state in which one must win and the other must lose; rather, it is a covenant where we have the privilege of sharing our strengths and reaching the best decision for every situation we find ourselves in. And this has changed everything in how I respect Tim.

The interesting thing is that most of the disrespect has been in my heart. Looking from the outside, somebody might have thought things were pretty good, but I knew the inside was ugly. And inside is what is most important to God.

Let me give you an example of how realizing Tim and I are on the same side has changed everything. A few weeks ago, Tim and I were looking at buying a piece of furniture for one of our spare bedrooms. We’d seen it on Craigslist, spoken with the sellers, and we were going to go pick it up that night. On the way to work, Tim asked me if I was sure it was what I wanted. Yes, I was sure! (A tiny niggling of disrespect was starting - We’ve already discussed this over the weekend, and Yes, I’m sure!) He assured me that we didn’t have to buy it if I wasn’t completely okay with it. He wanted to make sure it was definitely what I wanted. Yes, I was sure I wanted it! At this point , the disrespect was kicking into second gear: Seriously, why doesn’t he just calm down! I know I want it. We don’t need to discuss it anymore!

Now, you have to understand that both Tim and I are very detail oriented, but the main difference is that once I set my mind on something, the details no longer matter! I knew I wanted it, and that’s all I needed to know! (This is not always a good thing.) Well, Tim proceeded to ask me again what the measurements were, which I pulled out and told him with a roll of my eyes (making sure he didn’t see). The piece we were buying was round, so he then proceeded to ask me if I could find out the area of a circle, to which I could barely contain my sarcasm—Oh my gosh! This is so ridiculous! I am not wasting my time finding the area of a circle! Tim is driving me nuts! Again, this was all in my heart, but it wasn’t right.

Then God told me, “Amy, Tim is on your side.” I stopped. All this time, I’d been dishonoring Tim in my heart, scorning his idea of thoroughness, selfishly angry that he wanted to again examine the details, when in actuality, this was him being on my side! This was a strength of his that God had given him specifically to help us! So, I took out both the furniture and room measurements and really took a good look. I have to admit that up to this point, I hadn’t done that. I’d just looked at the room, tried to remember how big the piece of furniture was, and imagine whether or not it would fit in the room—not exactly “exact”. After we both looked at the measurements and saw how it would look in real life, we decided that yes, we did still want it. We went to pick it up that night and it’s perfect! What was even better, though, than just getting the right furniture was the peace I had knowing that I was honoring Tim from my heart.

And ever since then, there has been such a peace and order as I’ve grown every single day in seeing what an amazing man Tim is! Not only have we had almost zero strife between us in the last few weeks, but in realizing what a treasure I have in my husband, I’ve had this growing passion to find out everything I can about him! Just the other night, we went for a drive, and instead of using the time thinking about me, or “preparing to get annoyed” by something we might not agree on, I was so excited just to be with him and find out about him. We shared about the day, and then in full sincerity, I asked him about his week, what he wanted to grow in the most. We had such a great, thought-provoking conversation!

I’m sure the Lord has been trying to teach me this for the whole of our six-year marriage, but I’m thankful that He didn’t give up long ago!

Have you recognized areas that you don't respect your husband? Can your actions look good while your heart is wrong? Leave a comment if you can relate to what Amy has discovered.

- Amy

I'm an Iowa-born girl who loves God and life! I am honored to be married to an amazing Welsh man for over six years! I love spending time with my family.  I get excited about cooking and snow, and am looking forward to being a stay-at-home mom.








Read a variety perspectives on respecting your husband

Linking up to Raising Homemakers.  

October 14, 2011

relationship with God - Heather

Image: Carlos Porto
I have found that getting up early is when I am able to have my best quiet time with the Lord. For me, that normally means 6 a.m. or 6:30. (closer to 6:30...I set the alarm for 6 a.m. and if the boys wake me at night when the alarm goes off, I give myself another 30 minutes of sleep). Occasionally until 7:30.

Nights in our home are generally filled with family time - and Dan and I go to bed at the same time so we can have “our time”. We generally get to sleep anywhere between 10:30 to 11:30.

Getting up early gives me the chance to pray and enjoy a dark, hot cup of coffee! After I spend some time praying, I like to read some. I feel like I can greet the boys with a smile and am ready to be a joyful momma! Sometimes, for me personally, it is hard when I’m met with lots of questions and chatter first thing in the morning. I do much better after a couple of cups of java and some quiet time. Every day does not always start this way, as sometimes a child gets up early - or perhaps I've stayed up even later than normal.

For moms with very little ones, who get little sleep, there is time to spend with the Lord. But, I think they should remember that God is merciful if they aren't able to spend as much time with Him as they want when they have little babies. Obviously, we mothers had more time to spend with the Lord prior to children (not that we should use it as an excuse for not seeking the Lord). We serve a gracious God who knows the demands of motherhood. I certainly remember feeling strapped for time when our twins were newborns, and I was up every four hours nursing/feeding them. I took advantage of when they were sleeping and slept myself!

Another way of getting more reading time is to always have a devotional, little New Testament or a Christian book with me. Perhaps it fits in my purse, or I just grab it when we head to the park. Many times, you can grab ten to thirty minutes while watching the kids play at the park, waiting for someone in a parking lot, waiting at swimming lessons, or wherever it is you find yourself with a moment of time that you aren't in your home, where all of your responsibilities are waiting for you! :-)

How about you?  Is there a particular time of day that works best for you? How has motherhood changed your routine? Leave me a comment with your thoughts!

- Heather

Dan and I have been married fifteen years and have three fantastic boys! Daniel, is thirteen, and we have twin eight-year-old boys, Silas and Samuel. We homeschool and enjoy the learning process as a family. We have done various ministry works, and my husband's current occupation is construction. I enjoy hiking, running, and being outdoors. We've had dairy goats for a year, gardened many times, and are currently enjoying mountain hiking in Wyoming and Montana. Right now we live between Iowa and Wyoming!








Read a variety perspectives on relationship with God

October 12, 2011

respect resources - Heather

Here is a list of books on marriage that I have found helpful over the years.
  • Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl (NoGreaterJoy.org)
  • Preparing to Be a Helpmeet by Debi Pearl
    Although written to the unmarried young lady, I found this very insightful. It contained many stories that Debi did not include in her previous book Created to be His Helpmeet.
  • Marriage God’s Way a DVD by Micheal and Debi Pearl
    This is a great DVD set. One DVD for the wives and one for the husbands. Very frank, and to the point. Micheal teaches that women are to respect their husbands even if they don’t deserve it, and that men are to love their wives even if they don’t deserve it.
  • For Women Only by Shaunti Feldham
  • For Men Only by Jeff and Shaunti Feldham
  • How to Really Love Your Man - Linda Dillow (out of print, but can be found online)
  • Love and Respect -  Emerson Eggerichs

Have to read any of these? Do you have other suggestions? Leave us a comment on resources that have been helpful for you.


These are not affiliate links, we don't benefit from the promotion or sale of these books.  

- Heather

Dan and I have been married fifteen years and have three fantastic boys! Daniel, is thirteen, and we have twin eight-year-old boys, Silas and Samuel. We homeschool and enjoy the learning process as a family. We have done various ministry works, and my husband's current occupation is construction. I enjoy hiking, running, and being outdoors. We've had dairy goats for a year, gardened many times, and are currently enjoying mountain hiking in Wyoming and Montana. Right now we live between Iowa and Wyoming!








Read a variety perspectives on respecting your husband
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